Linda says many excuses for my error, but I will not excuse myself from it. I tell her before I am not best at what she and Irving wish me to do, but ... will myself to be best, and yet I make error.M’kamba will not be so easy with me for this. I hear in my mind her voice telling me how foolish I am. “You listen only to surface,” she says, “you do not look beneath. Always it is needed to look beneath, to pierce through many layers to truth, do not stop at one or two or even more, go all way to. Placing my rightfoot on the padded stool, I slipped the hose over my toeand drew it carefully up my calf.Attaching the stockings was a complicated process(particularly since the belt had an extra set ofsuspenders). My hands shook as I adjusted the straps intoposition. Cross-dressing is a kind of agony: a sweet,sensuous torment that leaves you breathless with yearning.The stockings seemed to soften the shape of my legs whileaccentuating their natural curvature. I smoothed them outagainst my. I had planned on just living by myself. Before I could even get my cabin built, I had picked up two new nieces, a houskeeper and now possibly two boys. I wasn't sure if I could handle this.When I got back to my room I lay down and thought while I smoked my pipe. The girls had already gotten me out of the habit of smoking around them in closed places. I found that I could concentrate better when I smoked though, and I needed to think. If I let Mary take care of her nephews on the ranch, I could. One room is a bedroom and the other is a study room special for Alex so all of her work can be finished. There is also a bed in there so incase Alex is up all night she can just crash on the bed there. It was a couple of hours into working already done with two assignments when Danny came into the room. ~Hey Alex, hows the homework going? ~Its going good almost done then I think Im going to go to bed. ~Well how about you take a break and join me ~Danny you know I cant do that right now, next.
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